Video: Choosing to live without children in a child-centered culture

It is not new that women choose to be childless. However, its popularity has grown with new generations and young women all over the world are showing their lives; childless and happy.

“I want my little mini-me to experience a lot without having to worry about it,” says Megan Parker, an illustration graphic designer in Calgary.

Women like Parker use social media to make decisions about childfree life. Unfortunately, despite the efforts of millions, women who choose not to have children still face criticism and backlash in various forms.

From being shunned by family members out of “selfishness” to refusing medical procedures in case of regret, these actions may seem small, but repeated incidents undermine not only a woman's bodily autonomy, but her entire sense of self.

Parker began her childless life when she was just 14 years old, after being diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis, a condition that can cause damage to internal organs, especially the reproductive system.

Being childless wasn't her original choice, but Parker, who feels special, says she probably would have chosen that lifestyle if her circumstances had been different.

“A lot of it comes from being a queer woman, there are so many stigmas. If I'm with a woman right now, she says, “Hey, who's the daddy?” “No matter who I'm with or what treatment I'm taking, I'm comfortable going without kids.”

While she's had a lot of support from her social circle, Parker says she's also had some bad experiences after opening up about her life, and she's tired of it.

“I think society needs to put the 'kids' narrative to rest so that anyone who doesn't want to give up something they love can be judged,” Parker says.

One of the easiest ways for childless women to maintain their lifestyle is to use birth control or regular procedures. Unfortunately, some medical professionals reject these options, assuming they will later change their minds.

Dr. Fiona Mattatall is an obstetrician-gynecologist with nearly 20 years of experience in the field, currently at Chrysalis Obstetrics and Gynecology in Calgary.

Mattatall argues that a woman's rights to her own body and reproductive freedom outweigh society's expectations of them having children. She says she's happy to offer childless women the procedures they're looking for, whether it's something permanent like a tubal ligation or something reversible like an IUD.

“I'm a feminist, I believe that the individual should be able to control their own reproduction and their own bodily autonomy,” says Mattatall. “Without these different options, it takes people away from the opportunity to live autonomous lives.”

Throughout her career, Mattatall has noticed a reluctance for childless women to be open about their choices, and she worries about the long-term impact it could have on her patients.

“I worry about being isolated, isolated or not knowing where to go,” says Mattatall. “I also feel that if someone has regrets later in life and they want to express it to someone, but they can't get back to that person because they're worried about 'I told you so.'

According to Mattatall, many of the criticisms of childless women should be reflected in what parents themselves have to say.

“We always say that a woman has a child. What is selfish? The questioning of these norms and the pushback will force people to reconsider that explanation,” says Mattatall. “Put the mirror down and say, 'Really, are your choices selfish?' say.”

After all, childless women are trying to do the same thing as their parenting counterparts; live happily without regrets.

“My life is very interesting and very interesting. I like to do anything spontaneous, spontaneous and fun,” says Parker. “Sometimes I feel sorry for my friends who have kids, they can't do these things, I can't imagine being spontaneous in my life.”

It depends

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